AI résumé roaster
Brutally honest.Helpfully funny.
Upload your résumé. Get the specific roast it deserves. Share the line that hurts most—then fix it with an ATS-friendly rewrite.
First roast is free. No card required.
alex-resume-2026.pdf
Parsed. Now reviewing the crimes.
The roast
Brutal“Led cross-functional initiatives” is résumé for “attended meetings with purpose.”
Get roasted.
Get better.
Get hired.
Not generic career advice. A personal teardown of the exact words, claims, and formatting choices on your résumé.
The free roast is built for a screenshot. The optional rewrite is built to survive the applicant tracking system.
One upload. Four moves.
From résumé to real talk.
Upload the evidence
Drop in your PDF or DOCX. No tedious profile builder required.
Get roasted properly
Receive the sharp, specific commentary your résumé has been avoiding.
Share the damage
Turn the best hit into a card built for screenshots, group chats, and feeds.
Rewrite with receipts
Upgrade when you want the roast translated into ATS-friendly copy.
The share moment
The roast lands before the upsell.
Your card gives people a quote worth posting. When they want to turn the laugh into an interview-worthy résumé, the rewrite is waiting.
Get my free roast“Proficient in Microsoft Office” is not a personality trait.
No softballs
Before you submit the evidence.
Your résumé is ready. Are you?
Get cooked. Then get hired.
One upload gets you the sharpest feedback your polite friends refused to give.
Roast my résumé free